Villains
by Hero in Green
Summary: A tale about a dastardly plan, bitter rivals, and painful defeats. This rythmic story is told in rhymes and beats. Not one part of this tale doesn't rhyme - Take a minute to read it, make good use of your time!


He lets out an evil, sinister laugh  
A despicable plan he is about to craft  
He rubs his hands together and snickers with greed  
When his work is done he'll have all that he needs

He's a man who's quite tall, and awful slender  
He may be unstable but he's no pretender  
Others don't take him as much of a threat  
He'll make that a judgment they'll always regret

His hand reaches up and massages his moustache  
Mind filled with meanness, revenge, and barrels of cash  
He'll get what he wants, and also a quite a thrill  
His plans haven't worked before, but he knows this one will

His partner in crime has similar taste  
He eats garlic, craves money, and likes to lift weights  
However they make a slightly odd pair  
They're quite different in looks, but they do not care

They sometimes engage in comical squabbles  
The tall one lurches when walking, the fatter one wobbles  
They share immense hate for their good counterparts  
Their pictures on the wall are covered in darts

They normally get along, but they do not share  
And when their plans fall short, at each other they glare  
It surely can't by my fault, they always insist  
Agree that it's yours, or be hit by my fist!

The slender one thinks up his dastardly plan  
Of lawmen and do-gooders, he is not a fan  
He thinks he can get rid of the annoying heroes  
And come away with a paycheck abundant in zeroes 

The King also shares in their blatant disgust

Get rid of the heroes, somehow he must

It's a great opportunity, one they won't miss

The slender one's plan, it goes like this:

The King of the Land, he's also quite bad  
Enough of the justice, he's just about had  
To rid his Kingdom of heroes, he'll roll the dice  
He'll pay these two bad men a hefty price

In return they'll have to defeat the good guys  
Only then will they receive their expensive prize  
Convinced he'll agree, to the King he proposes it  
And to be honest, with the King his plan's quite a hit

In fact, the King is in such great agreement  
He offers them more than they had foreseen it!  
If they're successful, easy lives they'll lead  
They'll have the power to take care of every need

If they fail, however, the evil King warns  
They'll be penniless, laughed at, and looked upon with scorn  
But aren't they already? What's to be lost?  
They'll defeat the good guys at any cost

After they've won, the rest will all cower  
For the King will give them a place in great power  
So off on their way, the bad guys go  
They'll get them this time, both of them know

The days go by without success  
But until they find the heroes, they will not rest  
One day they hear something, and the fatter one shushes.  
He hears someone on the other side of the bushes

Over the shrubs, both of them peer  
When they see who is there, they give a silent cheer  
Two men sitting around a glowing campfire  
With the element of surprise, they've never felt slyer

When the timing is right, they both jump out  
The short one flexes and the tall one shouts  
The two heroes appear to caught off their guard  
This will be a battle fought very hard

They've confronted the good guys many times before  
They put up a fight, but the good guys a bit more  
In the end, they're always soundly defeated  
This time their mistakes will not be repeated

The battle has started, the fists are now flying  
Already one of the bad guys is pitifully crying  
The tall one just got whacked in the nose  
He's actually quite weak, and right now it shows

The short fat one actually knows how to fight  
He's really quite tough, filled with strength and might  
But the heroes can take advantage of him  
He'll need to be quicker if he wants to win

He might be strong, but he's slow on his feet  
It's two against one, he can smell the defeat  
The tall one gets up and starts to attack  
It takes little effort to push him right back

Soon the heroes gang up on the other  
The tall one has darted away, in search of some cover  
The clouds have let out falling sheets of rain  
They're all drenched with water and stinging with pain

The fighting goes on for an hour or more  
All while the rain continues to pour  
Eventually the bad guys once again fall  
This is their most painful loss of all

So much was to be gained, so much at stake  
It's too much disappointment for them to take  
How couldn't they win? They thought they could  
Capture them with handcuffs, afterward they would

Then take the prisoners to face the King  
To have all that money would be a wonderful thing  
Who cares what would happen to the good guys?  
All they would care about was their colossal prize

But they'll never see it, their handsome reward  
Maybe they should have threatened with long sword  
What were they thinking? Win by fist-fight?  
Looking back, they must not be too bright

Maybe, they think, they just aren't good enough  
Perhaps they should give up, being villains is tough  
All these defeats have a common theme  
But the tall one has another flawless scheme…


End file.
